Könnte jmd. sich meine Statistik analysiere bitte angucken?

Hallo, ich bin in der 9.klasse und schreibe bald eine Englisch Klausur, wo ich eine Statistik analysierieren muss, daher habe ich zu dieser Stastik auf dem Bild, eine analyse geschrieben und wollte fragen, ob sich jmd. diese angucken kann und schreiben könnte, was ich hätte besser machen können...? Wäre wirklich sehr nett und hilfreich!! Dankeschön schonmal im voraus:)

Meine Analyse zu der Statistik:

"This table gives us information about the amount of pocket money per week in diffrent states like Germany, Turkey and the UK. It is divided in diffrent categories: kids under 5 age, kids from 5 to 10, 10 to 15 and 15-plus. If you compare the UK with germany you can see that kids under 5, 5 to 10, 10 to 15 or 15-plus get always more money than kids in germany, which isnt really suprising because I heard from many people that things in the UK are way more expencive than things in Germany. The table also shows that in the UK kids from the age 10 to 15 get the same pocket money as kids from the age 5 to 10, which is if you compare this with kids, the same ages in Germany and Turkey really intresting, because in this states kids who are older get more money. The table you can see gives us the information that the older kids become, the more money they get and I think its because of the rising costs the older you get, I mean if you compare the costs of a T-shirt or something else for kids under 5 years and kids from 5 to 10 you notice that it costs more for the kids from 5 to 10."

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Englisch lernen, Text, Übersetzung, Aufsatz, Englisch-Deutsch, englische Grammatik, Englischunterricht, Grammatik, Hausaufgaben, Rechtschreibung, Statistik
Englisch text?

Hallo, könnt ihr mir bitte den Text korrigieren?

Meet Angelina, a wonderful and spirited girl in our class. Angelia is 13 years old and her birthday is in September. Summer is her favourite season, because her birthday is in summer and she loves the warm weather with the sunshine. she loves swimming in the swimming-pool with her friends and her brothers and sisters.

 

One fact about her is that she makes everybody laughing, even if when the person doesn’t want to laugh. She is very kind, creative and helpful. And she loves animals so much. She is a very big animal lover. That’s one reason why she has 3 dogs and 5 rabbits. She also has been riding horses for a long time.

 

Her hobbys are very cool! She is in love with playing soccer and she is very good. Angelia is in the goal and is holding the balls. Her favourite club is FC Bayern, where also playing Thomas Müller and Jamal Musiala her favourite players.

But she also loves drawing what she is doing since the kindergarten. She likes to draw with the colours red and blue, because they are her favourite colours.

Sport and german are her favourite subjects in the school. But she doesn’t like english, except the topics about the american history. though she prefers english music more than german music. Her favourite ice cream is cinement and chocolate and her favourite food is sushi, which she could eat every day for lunch.

Von 1-10, wie gut ist er für einen Text aus der 8 Klasse? Danked🙏🙏

 

Englisch lernen, USA, Text, Übersetzung, Abitur, Aufsatz, Auslandsjahr, Englisch-Deutsch, englische Grammatik, Englischunterricht, Grammatik, Hausaufgaben, Rechtschreibung, summary, comment
Ist das ein guter Comment?

Nowadays the internet is becoming a bigger concern due to its unlimeted access. So its getting riskier to be online especially for children as there are many threats, such as fake profiles. However, is the internet really that dangerous?

First of all, I think the internet makes us very dependet, which can lead to developing addidictive behaviors, impacting both our personal lives and careers. For example during a family dinner, there is less conversation and more time spent surfing the internet. This can lead to conflict, just as when someone constantly checks their phone at work or in the school.

The next point is we are not always aware of the dangers online, because the internet is has become part of our everday life. From my point of view is this a big Problem, especially for young people, because they can visit websites that aren’t safe for them. For instance it can also be dangerous for children, as older people can pretend to be younger and attract children.

The next argument is that the internet also offers many benefits, such as educational plattforms, that help young people study for school. In my experience the internet provides learning materials and online courses, for example, which can help save time by avoiding long commutes.

Lastly its important to say that the internet make it easy to do many things online, which is often faster. For example shopping online is usually easier than going to a store especially when time is short.

All in all I can say the internet has good and negatives sites. One the one hand is the internet not good for children, because there are many dangers on the internet, on the othder hand you can benefit from internet.

Englisch lernen, USA, Text, Übersetzung, Abitur, Aufsatz, Auslandsjahr, Englisch-Deutsch, englische Grammatik, Englischunterricht, Grammatik, Hausaufgaben, Rechtschreibung, summary, comment
Summary?

Wäre eventuell jemand so lieb und könnte sich jemand meine Zusammenfassung anschauen über die USA beziehungsweise deren Einwohner besonders wegen der Grammatik, also den Tenses und der Word order? Das wäre echt sehr hilfreich, danke! Hier ist der Text dazu:

Meine Zusammenfassung:

The text is about the US and its immigration history. Today it is called a nation of immigrants. But thousands of years ago, only Native Americans lived there. The famous railroad that we know today was built by immigrants from Japan and China who came in the middle of the 19th century. A lot of German people came to the US but some of them left because they were discriminated. When some of them stayed, they started a new life mainly in Pennsylvania but later they decided to start a new life in Wisconsin, Michigan, Minnesota, North and South Dakota, Nebraska and Iowa. Ellis Island is known as a museum in New York today but in the past it was called "The Isle of Tears" because when immigrants wanted to go through, they had to prove their good health and they had to be able to write and read. When they could neither read nor write and didn‘t have a good health, they were sent back home. The people who wanted to immigrate into the US had a lot of problems since, in 1924, the US government passed "The Immigration Act“ and people from poorer countries weren‘t allowed to go to the US. Today, if people want to live in the US, they need a greencard which allows them to live and work in the US. People are given 50000 greencards all around the world each year, so there‘s a chance for everyone to immigrate to the US. 

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Englisch lernen, Geschichte, USA, Text, Übersetzung, Aufsatz, Englisch-Deutsch, englische Grammatik, Englischunterricht, Grammatik, Rechtschreibung, summary

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